i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
