I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
