I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
