walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
