Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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