How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize