dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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