I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
