my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
