I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
