booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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