Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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