Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize