I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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