You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We left the knife in your bed.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
