Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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