omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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