forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
