when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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