i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
