if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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