it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
All the doctor said was why
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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