Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
