i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
