When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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