My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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