And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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