Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
