Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
