But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
