Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
