i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
