you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
