There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
