New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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