There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
