It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
