The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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