Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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