My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm sobbing to NWA
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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