So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
