this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
