Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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