he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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