i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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