i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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