I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
