how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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