Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
