do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize