Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
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I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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