babies were throwing up all over the place
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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