For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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