my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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