When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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