Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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