i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
