if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
