What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize