Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
