Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
