Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize