We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
