you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
