I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
