you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
